I couldn't get much sleep after that.
"NO!!" I opened my eyes, clutching to the blankets and pillows around me. Breathing hard and sweating. Hair stuck on my face and tears running down my cheek. It's been so long since I've had such dreams.
The crying
The begging
The shivering
The shock ..
*Flashback*
"I hate it..
Why can't I be useful to anyone?
I never meant to hurt anybody, nor did I ever!
Yet why did they hate me?"
The 9 year old girl muttered to herself.
*EndFlashback*
Latifa: Get it out of your mind
I said as I ruffled my hair and shook my head.
I read some Quran to calm me down then looked over to my phone and saw what time is it.
Latifa: Ugh it's still 5. I've got an hour till I wake up.
I tweeted in twitter that I was awake and if anyone wanted to chat
I got off bed and went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, washed my face o tw'9eet l-9laat El-Fajer.
I prayed then opened my Twitter to see if anyone replied.
I got a DM thank god someone was awake \o/
@3bdallahAlx: Hey there, can't sleep? =(
@LatifaAlx: Hey, Yeah =(! What about you?
@3bdallahAlx: Slept way too early -.-
@LatifaAlx: Lucky you =c! I'm so sleepy =c
@3bdallahAlx: Try giving sleep a try?
@LatifaAlx: Don't feel like it. Plus I should wake up in 30 minutes so it's no use.
@3bdallahAlx: Why? =|
@LatifaAlx: Uuh =| Because I have school?
@3bdallahAlx: You have school on Thursday? =S
@LatifsAlx: Thursday? =| You're kidding right? Isn't it Wednesday?
@3bdallahAlx: Hahahahahahahahahaha ya 7leelk agool ro7ii namii It's Thursday
@LatifaAlx: =$ 6yb amz7! bye bnam
Latifa: Ya fshltii gdaaaamh ='( Allah yfshlnii bs !!
@3bdallahAlx: T3alii t3alii ! knt amz7 !
@LatifaAlx: Adrii =)) ! But I'm still sleeping
@3bdallahAlx: Ok =))
@LatifaAlx: Good night <3
@3bdallahAlx: Good night <3 !!
I tweeted "Back to sleep" then lay on my bed closing my eyes. Dozing off till I fell asleep ..
Wednesday, 21 November 2012
Chapter 3
I finished my studies and prayed Al-39r.
I finished everything and lunch isn't ready for at least 15 minutes.
Let's draw \o/. I got my laptop and tablet and pen tablet. I closed my eyes, opened them and let my hands lead me.
*Knock knock* a sudden knock interrupted my focus.
Latifa: *sigh* Who is it?
Helen: Miss Latifa lunch is on the table!
Latifa: Ok, I'm coming
After she left I took a look at what I drew.. I was shocked .. the expression.. the feeling!
I felt a lump on my throat!
I closed my eyes and tried to think of it as nothing of importance!
"How can this be?! I thought I killed her! I thought she was gone forever!" I thought as a tear slid down my right cheek.
Took of my glasses and wiped that tear away.
"She's not going to destroy my life. now now not ever" and I went down smiling with thousands of thoughts running through my head.
Baba(Abdul3azeez): Hla b-bntii 7beebtii<3
Latifa: Baba * I huged him and kissed his cheek* Mta rj3t?
Baba had his own business. And he would travel a lot and I'd miss him =c.
Baba: El-sa3a 8 w9lt el-beet, sh5bar el-3sl?
Latifa: Fagdtk =c el-beet bdoonk 5yaas =c
Mama: O ana bnt el-b6a el-sooda?
Latifa: Afa entii el-kl bil-kl hina =$ *And I kissed er cheek*
Hayfa and Samar came down and hugged Mama and Baba and kissed their cheeks, we had a few chit chats here and there. After I finished lunch I went upstairs to my room.
I opened the file that I drew before lunch, I somehow still can't believe it happened.
I mean it's kinda been a while, she can't just disappear then reappear again, can't she?
I stood there watching my sketch, it was of the young me, in a corner wearing dark blue short shorts and a white shirt. Crying my eyes out and muttering words. Words I knew too well
"Don't leave me, I'm scared of being alone.."
I finished everything and lunch isn't ready for at least 15 minutes.
Let's draw \o/. I got my laptop and tablet and pen tablet. I closed my eyes, opened them and let my hands lead me.
*Knock knock* a sudden knock interrupted my focus.
Latifa: *sigh* Who is it?
Helen: Miss Latifa lunch is on the table!
Latifa: Ok, I'm coming
After she left I took a look at what I drew.. I was shocked .. the expression.. the feeling!
I felt a lump on my throat!
I closed my eyes and tried to think of it as nothing of importance!
"How can this be?! I thought I killed her! I thought she was gone forever!" I thought as a tear slid down my right cheek.
Took of my glasses and wiped that tear away.
"She's not going to destroy my life. now now not ever" and I went down smiling with thousands of thoughts running through my head.
Baba(Abdul3azeez): Hla b-bntii 7beebtii<3
Latifa: Baba * I huged him and kissed his cheek* Mta rj3t?
Baba had his own business. And he would travel a lot and I'd miss him =c.
Baba: El-sa3a 8 w9lt el-beet, sh5bar el-3sl?
Latifa: Fagdtk =c el-beet bdoonk 5yaas =c
Mama: O ana bnt el-b6a el-sooda?
Latifa: Afa entii el-kl bil-kl hina =$ *And I kissed er cheek*
Hayfa and Samar came down and hugged Mama and Baba and kissed their cheeks, we had a few chit chats here and there. After I finished lunch I went upstairs to my room.
I opened the file that I drew before lunch, I somehow still can't believe it happened.
I mean it's kinda been a while, she can't just disappear then reappear again, can't she?
I stood there watching my sketch, it was of the young me, in a corner wearing dark blue short shorts and a white shirt. Crying my eyes out and muttering words. Words I knew too well
"Don't leave me, I'm scared of being alone.."
Chapter 2
"I can say about myself that I'm smart. I mean I get good grades and I always get praised for it. But when it comes to arabic I SERIOUSLY SUCK. Like I study Grammer harder than I do to Math. It's just not normal." My thoughts were interrupted by the arabic teacher, my worst studies nightmare, Teacher 3unaiza..
T. 3unaiza: Latifa ma wdk tntbheen? :) Wla mo 3ajbk el-drs?
Latifa: Wsh sweet? =| Ya rb jalsa m3k =|
T. 3unaiza: La walla? ajl wsh glt tw?
Latifa: 3n 3lamat el-estfhaam o anwa3ha -___-
Yes I wasn't smart in this subject but I've got good attention to it
T. 3unaiza: 6yb rkzii m3ii.
Latifa: :)
I just ignored her and started to scribble some drawings on my notebook.
I wanted to do a childerns book <3 I always loved children and drawing so I thought why not give it a try?
Sha4a: Agool Tofy wraha 4ii ba t5z feek? -.-
Latifa: 6nsheeha. Sh'3lha enha t5lena nntbh
Sha4a: Bs fe esloob a7sn mn k4a y3nii? =s
Latifa: 3adi, maybe she has a bad day.
Sha4a: Entii daymn tt34reen lil-naas -.-
I just smiled
BREAK TIME \O/
Latifa: Jo3anna abii abl3 =c yalla bsr3a 5lena nl7g 3la el-akl el-zeen
Sha4a: Entii ma tfkreen ella b-b6nk? -.-
Latifa: Lw ma shb3t b6nii shlon arkz enshalla /=) yalla bsr3a
Sha4a: 6yb 6yb -.-
We ran to the cafeteria to buy some food
Skip Skip to the end of the school
DING DONG DING DONG
Ugh finally we can go home -.- I was seriously tired.
Latifa: Ast'3fralla 5awatii 7ta bil-rj3a mt25een :)
Hayfa and Samar: El-Salam 3leekm
Latifa and Pier(Our driver): Wa 3leekm el-slaam
Latifa: Al-7een ana elli mfg3 mraartii wraah ma t6l3oon bdrii? :) y3nii m3 9deegatkm 6ool el-yom 5la9 ya5ii :)
Hayfa: Ast'3fr alla nfsya mstg9ra 3lena hal-10 dgayg m3 9deegatna! Nfsya!
Samar: Mn jd!
That hurt..
No I'm not a nfsya.. for some reason they always call me that and it hurts ..
Latifa: 3la zg.
I put on my headphones and started listening to Pieces by Red
I'm here again
A thousand miles away from you
A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am
I tried so hard
Thought I could do this on my own
I've lost so much along the way
Then I see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole
I've come undone
But you make sense of who I am
Like puzzle pieces in your hand,
Then I see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole!
I tried so hard! So hard!
I tried so hard!
Then I see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole
So you can make me whole
I'm finally home.
Latifa: HELEN!!
Helen: Yes Miss Latifa?
Latifa: What's for lunch?
Helen: Kabst laham
Latifa: Hahaha you say that in a weird way !!
Helen: No you have weird names for food
Latifa: Get it ready when I get down
Helen: I understand Miss Latifa
I went up to my room, I was extra tired since I've been working on a project, and had very little time to rest.
T. 3unaiza: Latifa ma wdk tntbheen? :) Wla mo 3ajbk el-drs?
Latifa: Wsh sweet? =| Ya rb jalsa m3k =|
T. 3unaiza: La walla? ajl wsh glt tw?
Latifa: 3n 3lamat el-estfhaam o anwa3ha -___-
Yes I wasn't smart in this subject but I've got good attention to it
T. 3unaiza: 6yb rkzii m3ii.
Latifa: :)
I just ignored her and started to scribble some drawings on my notebook.
I wanted to do a childerns book <3 I always loved children and drawing so I thought why not give it a try?
Sha4a: Agool Tofy wraha 4ii ba t5z feek? -.-
Latifa: 6nsheeha. Sh'3lha enha t5lena nntbh
Sha4a: Bs fe esloob a7sn mn k4a y3nii? =s
Latifa: 3adi, maybe she has a bad day.
Sha4a: Entii daymn tt34reen lil-naas -.-
I just smiled
BREAK TIME \O/
Latifa: Jo3anna abii abl3 =c yalla bsr3a 5lena nl7g 3la el-akl el-zeen
Sha4a: Entii ma tfkreen ella b-b6nk? -.-
Latifa: Lw ma shb3t b6nii shlon arkz enshalla /=) yalla bsr3a
Sha4a: 6yb 6yb -.-
We ran to the cafeteria to buy some food
Skip Skip to the end of the school
DING DONG DING DONG
Ugh finally we can go home -.- I was seriously tired.
Latifa: Ast'3fralla 5awatii 7ta bil-rj3a mt25een :)
Hayfa and Samar: El-Salam 3leekm
Latifa and Pier(Our driver): Wa 3leekm el-slaam
Latifa: Al-7een ana elli mfg3 mraartii wraah ma t6l3oon bdrii? :) y3nii m3 9deegatkm 6ool el-yom 5la9 ya5ii :)
Hayfa: Ast'3fr alla nfsya mstg9ra 3lena hal-10 dgayg m3 9deegatna! Nfsya!
Samar: Mn jd!
That hurt..
No I'm not a nfsya.. for some reason they always call me that and it hurts ..
Latifa: 3la zg.
I put on my headphones and started listening to Pieces by Red
I'm here again
A thousand miles away from you
A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am
I tried so hard
Thought I could do this on my own
I've lost so much along the way
Then I see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole
I've come undone
But you make sense of who I am
Like puzzle pieces in your hand,
Then I see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole!
I tried so hard! So hard!
I tried so hard!
Then I see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole
So you can make me whole
I'm finally home.
Latifa: HELEN!!
Helen: Yes Miss Latifa?
Latifa: What's for lunch?
Helen: Kabst laham
Latifa: Hahaha you say that in a weird way !!
Helen: No you have weird names for food
Latifa: Get it ready when I get down
Helen: I understand Miss Latifa
I went up to my room, I was extra tired since I've been working on a project, and had very little time to rest.
Chapter 1
"I was wrong to be born from the beginning.. I don't seem to be useful to anyone at all.. not my parents, nor my sisters. I don't have friends that like me. There must be something wrong with me. Yes everyone is perfect! Except me .. yeah."
Hello, I'm Latifa. As you can see when I was a kid I never had any self-confidence. But that changed right now. I'm a whole lot different then before. but little old self-confidence Latifa never died..
....: YALA GOMII EL-SAWAG BARA!!
Latifa: Enshalla Mama gmt -.-
Mama(Shmoo5): Yalla sha6ra 7beebtii<3 broo7 ag3d 5awatk
Latifa: Ok
I woke up washed my face, brushed my teeth and prayed Al-Fajr.
I stood in front of the mirror (I have curly brown hair that goes to a little under my shoulder, middle sized brown eyes, middle sized nose and lips. 7n6ya. Kinda fat. I wear RayBan glasses and braces.) I took a look at myself and thought "Ugh. not pretty =c." Yes I have this thought every morning for I don't know how many years.
Mama: YALLA BNAAT ENZLOO !!
Latifa, Hayfa and Samar: ENSHALLA
Hayfa: My sister, she'a a year younger than me so she's 15. SO PRETTY mashalla has curly/wavey hair that goes to her mid-back she's 7n6ya and big dark brown eyes, big nose and middle sized lips. Braces!
Samar: She's 12 years old, white with big dark brown eyes, middle sized nose and lips, wavey dark brown hair that goest to her shoulders.
Latifa: Mama mahee 7ala 4ii o ana nazla Hayfa o Samar lsa tw ylbsoon :)
Mama: Shtbenii aswii? Noom 5awatk mrra thgeel!
Latifa: Ewa 5ala9 ajl aroo7 gblhm. s5afa at25r kl 9b7 3shanhm o ana 3lmii y3nii akthr el-799 3lmya y3nii fe bil-799 el-ola mwad 3lmya :)
Mama: 6yb 6yb la rj3tii tfahmna ro7ii e6l3ii lil-sawag brra 5awatk ha4ahm nzloo
Latifa: Kal-3ada tsleek -___-
Anyway 6l3t brra lil-sawag o mshena o w9lna lil-mdrsa
As always my sisters never get caught being late :) but for some reason I do :)
El-Wakeela: L6eefa kal-3ada mt25ra? :)
Latifa: Y abla walla malii d5l 5awatii hm elli y25ronii =c
El-Wakeela: Entii daymn ha4a 34rk?
Latifa: L2nh 9dg walla ya abla !!
El-Wakeela: 6yb ro7ii l-f9lk bsr3a o tra a5r mrra
Latifa: Shukrn ;;)
I went to class thank god our first period teacher was absent.
Sha4a: TOFY JT!!
Latifa: I MISS YOU YA KLBA !!
Sha4a: She's my bestest of bestest friend ever!! She has boyish hair and wears black glasses, skinny and big eyes mashalla, black hair and middle sized lips.
Sha4a: T3alelii today? =c
Latifa: Ma agdr \o/
Sha4a: Why? =c
Latifa: I haven't drawn since forever =c I need to draw to get stress out =c
Sha4a: Come over and we'll draw together c=
(Yes Sha4a and I are artists =)) I draw Anime\Manga and she draws Animals)
Latifa: Bshoof ;;)
----------
So? What do you think as a first chapter?
Hello, I'm Latifa. As you can see when I was a kid I never had any self-confidence. But that changed right now. I'm a whole lot different then before. but little old self-confidence Latifa never died..
....: YALA GOMII EL-SAWAG BARA!!
Latifa: Enshalla Mama gmt -.-
Mama(Shmoo5): Yalla sha6ra 7beebtii<3 broo7 ag3d 5awatk
Latifa: Ok
I woke up washed my face, brushed my teeth and prayed Al-Fajr.
I stood in front of the mirror (I have curly brown hair that goes to a little under my shoulder, middle sized brown eyes, middle sized nose and lips. 7n6ya. Kinda fat. I wear RayBan glasses and braces.) I took a look at myself and thought "Ugh. not pretty =c." Yes I have this thought every morning for I don't know how many years.
Mama: YALLA BNAAT ENZLOO !!
Latifa, Hayfa and Samar: ENSHALLA
Hayfa: My sister, she'a a year younger than me so she's 15. SO PRETTY mashalla has curly/wavey hair that goes to her mid-back she's 7n6ya and big dark brown eyes, big nose and middle sized lips. Braces!
Samar: She's 12 years old, white with big dark brown eyes, middle sized nose and lips, wavey dark brown hair that goest to her shoulders.
Latifa: Mama mahee 7ala 4ii o ana nazla Hayfa o Samar lsa tw ylbsoon :)
Mama: Shtbenii aswii? Noom 5awatk mrra thgeel!
Latifa: Ewa 5ala9 ajl aroo7 gblhm. s5afa at25r kl 9b7 3shanhm o ana 3lmii y3nii akthr el-799 3lmya y3nii fe bil-799 el-ola mwad 3lmya :)
Mama: 6yb 6yb la rj3tii tfahmna ro7ii e6l3ii lil-sawag brra 5awatk ha4ahm nzloo
Latifa: Kal-3ada tsleek -___-
Anyway 6l3t brra lil-sawag o mshena o w9lna lil-mdrsa
As always my sisters never get caught being late :) but for some reason I do :)
El-Wakeela: L6eefa kal-3ada mt25ra? :)
Latifa: Y abla walla malii d5l 5awatii hm elli y25ronii =c
El-Wakeela: Entii daymn ha4a 34rk?
Latifa: L2nh 9dg walla ya abla !!
El-Wakeela: 6yb ro7ii l-f9lk bsr3a o tra a5r mrra
Latifa: Shukrn ;;)
I went to class thank god our first period teacher was absent.
Sha4a: TOFY JT!!
Latifa: I MISS YOU YA KLBA !!
Sha4a: She's my bestest of bestest friend ever!! She has boyish hair and wears black glasses, skinny and big eyes mashalla, black hair and middle sized lips.
Sha4a: T3alelii today? =c
Latifa: Ma agdr \o/
Sha4a: Why? =c
Latifa: I haven't drawn since forever =c I need to draw to get stress out =c
Sha4a: Come over and we'll draw together c=
(Yes Sha4a and I are artists =)) I draw Anime\Manga and she draws Animals)
Latifa: Bshoof ;;)
----------
So? What do you think as a first chapter?
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